My world used to evolve around you in the past. All that is in my mind is just about how to give you surprises, how to make you smile, how to make you happy. I used to wake up early in the morning, go to your house, buy you breakfast, knock on your window and call you. Then we will be hugging one another tightly, sleeping together. You will always on your fan to speed 1 because you find it dam cold while I am feeling so hot, sweating like a dog. We will sleep till we are happy, wake up, then watch television together, having some snacks on our hands. If there's nice movies on funsion, we will watch it together. Otherwise we will find somewhere to go and off we go. We try on clothes and give one another comment but usually I will just anyhow wear and you will start complaining that I am not putting on make up and all these stuffs.

We used to be strangers, then friends, then together. We used to be forbidden to meet because of my parents. But we had went through all these together. We studied hard together for O level, planning out future together. Thinking of how many kids we want to have, how many dogs are we going to have. I remember all the things you said before. I wrote lots of letters to you, but you start to find them boring. I wrote long messages to you, you start to find them worthless. I used to want hugs and kisses every moment I see you, but you start to detest it. How do you feel now, I really wish to know.

You start to feel regret isn't it? I once told you before, cherish me. I did cherish you. But every time when we quarrel, you always think that its my fault and there you go again, start shouting at me, start pointing at me fingers, calling me disgusted names. Insulting me and stuffs. I used to think that maybe treating me like this is your hobby. Then I realised , maybe it was true isn't it?

You hated my family. (for no apparent reason) I wonder how are we even gonna get married in future. So why not just end it now and prevent more trouble in future. When I was together with you, I used believed that you are the one that I will last forever in future, have a family together. But it seems to be just a dream. Everything wouldn't come true anymore. I gave up the hope already. In fact, I gave up myself. I wouldn't be that naive to be believing in such things anymore. Someday you will know there'll be someone out there who you think suits you. Take care.

This boy here is the only one who can be really cheer me up when I am feeling down, when I am freaking almost to tear, when I am bored, when I just want to have someone to talk to. He may not even understand a single shit that I talked about, but at least he is able to make me smile. I just want someone who can cheer me up, who can try millions of ways just to see me smile. He wouldn't make me cry, he wouldn't make me sad. How great it is to be him. No stress, nothing to think. As long as he can eat and play. That's the motive of his life.

It has been 2 weeks. It is tough, but still, 2 weeks has passed isn't it? It's not easy to let go, not easy to give up. But I still choose to. Because I thought of the future ahead of us. How long can we go on like this? I just want someone who loves me and understands me. Is that far too much? I don't know and I don't wish to know anymore. Just take good care of yourself. I won't go back to you because I am determined this time and I believe I can walk through all this, alone. Thanks for the brownies. But please don't do it again. Thanks.

You came to find me today @ SAGE. You bought me my favourite P.Osh brownie from Dhoby Ghaut. I remember last time whenever you did something wrong, you would buy this brownie for me. I guess 2 years ago. You bought a packet of 5 different flavours of my favourite for me, telling me you will treat me nice and good from that day onwards. Sadly, you didn't. Today, the same thing happened again. But you placed a letter inside and the chain that I gave you that time. Sorry that I fucked you up again today, sorry for being cruel. I don't want that either but I had no choice. We can no longer be together. Maybe in future there's still a chance? As long as I am not married, anyone stands a chance isn't it? I cried after you left. Not because of anything, just plain guilty and sympathy for treating you like this regardless how hard you tried. I apologise for that.

You want to change yourself but it's because you think that by changing we can be back together again. But you didn't realised, all along since  I am together with you, the motive of mine asking you to change is for your own good. I don't know how long will it take, but I believe it's gonna take years. I hope you can continue with your life and live on happily. You can't always rely on me. Please learn to be independent. I regret for not letting you learn that. My bad. Sorry for that.

Went to Junction 8 with Xiuyan today to find Jiayi at her work place. We had wonderful chit chatting and it feels great to have someone to talk to. Life goes on. I kinda love my life now though. I hadn't been eating for the past few days till today, I ate a packet of chicken rice but I shitted it out again. Think I should go on a diet. Too fat. I remember you used to always think that I am very fat isn't it? I will slim this time.

To all the men in this world: Cherish the girl who truly loves you now before everything is too late. Stop thinking that one day they will still forgive you. When she finally gives up, nothing is gonna save it back. One day you will still need to settle down with some girl. Why not cherish the ones that truly loves you?