UV tattoo. Like a cool<3

It was a surprise from me last year to you<3

I will never forget how happy you were and how you hugged me.

Since 15th March 2008 till today, we had been together for 1263 days. Haha. Cool yeah? And it was never easy to have been through so far. I never thought of giving up this love with him before. Because we had been through hardships to have what we gotten today. We took care of one another and we loved each other. It wasn't easy, really. It used to be like my parents forbidding us to meet and we can only like meet maybe twice a week? And they are all short ones. 10-20 mins? If we are lucky, it reached an hour. Haha pathetic yeah? But we never gave up before though it was that hard. I will always remember what you ever did for me before. You used to make breakfast for me in the morning, cycle from your house(AMK) to my school (BISHAN) early in the morning like 6.30am. Just to see me for 10 mins. Baby, that was sweet and I will never forget them, in my whole fucking life. The breakfast that you made for me might not be those super delicious one, but to me, they are the best. Maggie mee. Haha. I loved them. I really do. I feel loved and blessed. Though ever since we are able to meet everyday, we didn't cherish, but thank you. For doing so much for me. I appreciated that.

My parents might not like you. They have their reasons. But at last, they still accepted you because I love you and no one can ever stop me from doing so. You are already the guy that I wanna marry. I want no one better. You might have your flaws but love, is being able to accept the other party's flaw. I just want us to have a better future. To have a happy family. Instead of quarreling every single day. No one is perfect. I just want you to have your temper changed. It's not as though I want you to change your everything. Just your temper. I will patiently wait. I believe we will have a bright future ahead. We ain't stupid people. We just need to be mature enough to handle our relationship problem. Alright? Iloveyou<3

Hi. Last paper today. Programming. Like a happy when ended but suck when I received a message saying : " B102 UT 4 is on 6th September at W15A/B at 10.30am-12pm. Please check RP email and accept the calender invite immediately." My heart is like, sian half already. Thought today would have been my last paper and I am going to enjoy my holiday. Suck to be me. Anyways, tons of things do buy. I am actually looking for a part-time job now. If you have any, do let me know ok? Need a job super urgently. It would be bored to be staying at home for the whole day.

Programming sucks. But it would had been quite easy if I had learn that earlier on and paid attention while I was in class. Regret. Say wouldn't help. Since I have to retake another 3 module ( B102, G101, C105), I will study hard for it. This is a good chance for me to do well. Haha.

Time for a diet. I had decided to go on a diet. Had been putting on weight can. SO FAT ALREADY. And I can never stand girls who are already fucking skinny but yet still says that they are fucking fat. Feel like crushing them into paper. Dam attention seeker uhs. My target weight is 45kg. Now I am like 53 kg. FAT. I am like 1.55m. Hahahaha Sorry uh, I am never shy to share this type of rubbish that most girls doesn't dare to share. Its a fact that I am fat. Say me all you want. Because it doesn't affect me.

But if you ever say that I am ugly, I will definitely feel angry. Because I don't think I am. Haha. Though I am not those super super pretty type, but at least I am acceptable ok. LOL. Okay, shall go and play tetris now. Want to go Bali and Bintan so badly. Fuck. And I wanna get inked. Yes. Need more tattoos. Bye~

Love is something strange. Love is something wonderful. No matter how much you say you doesn't love this person, they are all lies. You are just putting a strong front. It was never true. I love him. I will always do. Because he is someone special to me. No matter what he did, no matter what he does that i doesn't like, I will still choose to forgive. Because I love him. I promised. I won't be with anyone else other than him. Either him, or I will be alone for my whole life. I am going to wait for him. Till the day he changes, our love will still continue. He might be different from others. But that's what makes him special.

I might be angry for certain things that he has done, certain thins that he had said. But honestly speaking, that doesn't change my love for him. I will wait. Till he belongs to me again. Because I need him. I love you.

Do I looked like I am fucking happy without him? Please. You are so wrong. I missed him. But I told myself, no. I can't. Today I realised so much thing about this love and about me. I loved him more than he does. I always thought, he loved me more than I did.

Went to Dhoby Ghaut with my sister, Lina. She is my younger sister by the way. One year younger than me. I went to P.Osh brownie for a job interview. I wrote down my details and they will call me again. Hope the pay would be good. Then headed to Plaza Sing to walk around. Ate @ Secret Recipe. Haha my sister treat me. So good right? We had a super long chat there. I told her everything. Every single thing. How I felt and how am I feeling now. I feel so much better to have someone to talk to. Seriously. I needed a listening ear long time ago. I didn't dare to tell anyone how I felt in the past. No one. Not even my closest friend. Then I realised what she say was true. He don't loved me as much as I did.

I always tell everyone how much my boyfriend loved me. I boast about how good he treated me. I always thought, hey, that dude loves me more than anything and he definitely loved me more than I did. But I was so wrong. Pathetic me. I finally found out. The things I did for him, I cared so much for him. In my mind, he comes first in everything. Every single thing. How about him? A guy who loves you wouldn't shout and swear at his girl. He loves me. Of course he does. He dote on me also. But when we quarrel, no one can even see that he is actually my boyfriend. He shout at me like fuck. Am I deserved to be treated like this? I always wonder. There is still a long road down for both of us. We need to choose wisely. Is he going to give me happiness with his bad temper like this? I know he will be reading my blog. Let me tell you, I love you. I really really do. We had been together for 3 years 5 months. I loved you more than anything. I can give up anything for you. Just for you.

I can do anything just to see you smile. I can do anything just to see you happy. Seriously, calm down yourself and think. What have I ever done for you. Ever since the day we got together. The number of surprises that I gave you before. I am not saying that you did not do anything for me. We can't compare love. But I know I loved you a lot. The love I had for you is not what words can describe here. We didn't cherish one another. We can blame no one. But at least I still bother to put in effort in this love. Is not that I want anything in return from you for the things that I did for you. But I just want you to be there whenever I needed you. When I had problems, you will be caring and gentle towards me instead of cursing and swearing at me.

We might still be together in the future. Maybe in a few years or few months? I want you to change. Change you temper. I will change mine too. In order to keep this love going, this is the only thing that I can do right now. We have to have trust in one another. We need to be able to communicate well with each other. It is not just by saying but by actions. 1 year ago I trusted that you will change. But in the end, what happened? This time, I really need to see you change before anything goes back to normal. And changing is the matter of time. In order to change, we need a lot of determination and patience. It's not you who need to change only, I need to change myself also. For not being unreasonable at times. I might be childish at times. Being self-hyper and super talkative. But I bet you will miss them when I am gone.

Today when I am out, you might think that I am enjoying myself. But hey, in my mind, it was all about you. I was talking about you all the way from the moment I left house. Everywhere is our memories. Everywhere. You know how much I fucking missed you? I don't want to call you. But I kept looking at my phone. I missed the time when we just gotten together. Every single message that you sent to me makes me smile to myself when I am reading it. Now? We meet up everyday. Have we ever cherished? Suddenly I hope there is someone who stops us from meeting one another. That's the only way we learn to cherish.

You don't like my family members. And your family members doesn't like me. Will we be happy next time when we get married? I doubt we would. Isn't it? I don't want this relationship to end this way too. But for your good and my good, this is the only way. We should leave one another for some time first. I am sure I am going to miss you like fuck but I had no choice. I am so used to have you by my side, nagging me. Helping me wipe my mouth whenever I finished eating. Buying food and drinks for me. Caring for me. But all these will still come back if we are meant to be. I am still wearing the ring that we wore for years. Though you threw away mine. But I am still wearing it. I am never going to be in love anymore. I promise.

I hope you are happy. I just want you to be happy. Take care.

Letting go of something that I used to have, used to love, used to need. It isn't easy. Really.

Things ain't doing any better. We are still the same. And now, I can say that, we are hopeless. So fucking hopeless. Let's not say the way he treat me in the past. Like 2 years ago. Lets say how he treats me now. Haha. So fucking good. So good that I believe every girl in this fucking world would want to be with him uh. When you are crying, he says more thing that can hurt you to make you cry more. When you are sad, he fucking don't care. He fucking HATES my family. For no reasons. Please take note, for NO REASONS. I don't hate his family members. Not at all. Instead, I ask him to treat his mother better. He don't treat his mother good. He is a fucking BASTARD. He only cares about his impression to people. He was never that great. He calls me slut, bitches and many others that I am too lazy to list them out. I never seen such terrible guy like him before. Like SERIOUSLY. Out of my ex boyfriend, he is the worst but yet to be honestly speaking, I fucking LOVED HIM MOST. Like what the fuck. He made me teared the most. He is totally not my type. But yet we last this long and I loved him like fuck.


I am dying soon. I seemed like I didn't care but I do. Okay, never mind. He can live without me. So why can't I live without him. But I promise, I never wanna get into another relationship again. Its time to start anew. I will throw away the ring that we both wore for years. Anyway last time when we quarreled he already threw away mine. So now I am going to throw away his also. And from today onwards, I am never going to talk to him or be with him anymore. I will remember what happened. I must tell myself, I am never going to be soft hearted again. Ever again. Being with him is just a fucking big mistake that I ever had in my whole life. A guy like him who curses everyone and even his family doesn't deserved to be loved. I should just stay strong. I will be. I have friends. Friends who are caring and willing to be my listening ear. I don't need a fucking guy like him.

Broken heart

Hi. I am having a heart that has broken into a million pieces and I don't know how to fix it. Even if I ever fixed them back again, there will definitely be scars. Why break it in the first place? As I had always said, one will never cherish when they have it and regret after they lose it. But what for? No point isn't it? There are so many things that I really wish to say and I had no one to turn to. I don't know who to speak to. We had both been together for 3 years 5 months plus. You can never imagine the things that we had both went through. There are too much. And it isn't easy to have come so far. Last time, when we had a quarrel, I will take it as an experience to know more about his character and how to improve our love. But now, we quarrel every single day. Do you know how fucking tiring is that? He thinks that it's my fault and I think that it's his fault. We can't sort our problems out because whenever we start talking about the problems we had, we will start another quarrel instead. There's no ending towards this. So might as well just end it, isn't it? I don't know if we will ever get back together again. But as long as the problem is there, he doesn't change his temper, there is no way that I will still stay on like this. My heart is aching every single day.


I am always wondering, why didn't he write letters to me? Why is his good message getting shorter and shorter? Why didn't we even send one another mid night message and good morning message like we used to? Because we never cherished what we are having now. Last time we can't meet like we do now. We can meet every single day. Anytime. I believe that's the reason why our love has weaken so much. I always thought that he is going to be different. He is going to love me like i loved him. But things ain't always what we thought. Whenever he is angry, he can't control his temper and all the disgusted words would come out of his mouth. I really had enough. Yes, I am at fault too. In fact we both are. But we just can't resolve the problem. It's tiring to be in love at times.

Hi. I have nothing better to do. So i decided to blog. Hehe. Anyway, the nail polish above is called Crackle Nail Polish. It's dam cool. I want to get this next week. Each is like for $10 plus. And in order to have the effect, you will at least need 3 bottle. The first 2 is the colour you want it to have, and third one is the top coating.

At first I wanted to go over to Sensual to do my nails but decided not to. Cause I am too rough to have a nail art one. Within one week, I am sure it will start to chip off and it's going to look awful. So instead of wasting my money on something I know wouldn't last, I made up my mind to get this. Hehe. Not very expensive and can last for a longer time. Haha.

Anyway. Was having exams for the past 3 days. Only the first paper was quite easy uh-.- Yesterday was OB and today was science. And I am a born-science-idiot. I can never do my science well. I can only do math and I love math but too bad I don't have math for this semester and I don't even know if I can go through this and continue for my next semester uh:( Stress max.

And. I am deciding to work at K suites next week. Since I am having holidays. Might as well find something better to do right? Can earn more money and buy the stuffs that I wanna get. Hehe.

Lastly. I am kinda sad recently and I really don't know why. Having some relationship problem perhaps? Kept quarreling over stupid stuff. I believe every couple does that. You can never imagine what they actually argue about. To a bystander, they might even find it ridiculous to be arguing over such stuffs. You will know once you are in a  relationship. Haha. Alright. Shall go and sleep already. Good night<3


OH YA. USS again next weekend. Hehehe<3 Bye~

K suitesssss! I want to go again so badly. Though I believe I had spent a thousand dollars there ever since it was opened. It VIP room is the best thing ever uh. I only went to the Iluma one before for quite a few times. Shall try the one at Orchard after exam. Expensive only. But I just like the environment there. Remember last time I used to visit there so often with my dear. We spend like $80 in 2 hours? Its charged hourly. Each hour is around $10 and its a must for everyone to get a drink. The coke is like $8 if I am not wrong. Haha. Had so much memories there with my boy. I must save and go again.

Sometimes I wonder where my money goes to. Now I see it. To entertainment and food. Haha I never hesitate to buy snacks like yougurt and cute stuffs. Haha. I must start saving already.

Anyways, today's Understanding Test was kinda easy though. Happy~ Think I can pass this module without having to fear already~ Hahaha. Ended school @ 12.30pm. So early yeah. Went to meet Susanna after test to study. But we did not. LOL. Tomorrow's OB and I really hate this module. No choice though. But I am really too bored. So I blogged. Hahaha. Okay, I shall start studying already. Good bye.


I missed the days where you have a blog and you actually blogged for me<3

Bought this Birkenstock yesterday at Wheelock with my dear Xiuyan. She bought one pair for herself also. Nice but I don't think it's comfy. The day before yesterday, someone also bought my boy a pair of Addidas sports shoes. He must be really blessed to be doted by so many. And, yes. He was glad yesterday when he sees them. The only reason why I loved to give surprises is because of their shock reaction and happy smile:) Well, exams are next week. Hope it will be a good one  and that we can both do well. Wanna go USS again~ Ahhhh, so many things to do. Hope I earn lots of money. K, bye.

Hello! Had been blogging regularly now a days. Hehehe. Stress, Exam coming ! Anyways, see the lovely and wonderful cake above? Dam nice right? Its from P.Osh ! You can visit http://www.eposh.net/ for more details! Haha remember when they first open, I kept buying and buying from them. 2 years ago I guess. Whenever my boyfriend did something wrong, he would buy a 10 piece one for me. Hahaha! So sweet. There are also custom made small brownie @ $4.50 each only! The cake i depending on the number of portion. Each portion is @  $4. So if 10 piece it will be @ $40 :) the above one is only a 6 piece one:) But big enough already though.

Happy birthday Daniel! Hope you liked the cake:)

I am currently thinking about my mini marriage next year. Thinking of how am i going to hold the event and such. Wow, its gonna cost a bomb though. Hehe. Must start saving already. Jialat. Alright, gonna study now. Bye!

Had a catching up session + Birthday celebration with Daniel. Had been long since we met him and tonight we will be having dinner together again~ Just one more day and it will be holiday~ Monday will be the last day of school and Understanding Test 3 is on it's way here also. Boring. I am so worried that we might not do that well. Stress~ Okay, just hope that we will try our best. Am sudying kinda hard recently though. Hahaha. Alright, shall update again soon. Bye!<3