I have so much to say. I don't know if words could actually describe all the feelings that I am having now. You sent me a lot of text. I read them all. Every single text that you sent, I read them carefully, word by word. Yeah, I gave you false hope. I am flirt, I am a bitch who doesn't love you at all ever since the start of this relationship. Yeah, you want everything to start all over again. You want to treat me well, you want to dote me like a princess and love me forever. You want me to be your wife, you want to forgive you, forget about the past and start the whole relationship all over again. But have you ever stand in my position and think for me?

The hurt that you have given me before in the past, I am sorry to say but I can't forget them. I don't hold grudges and I forgive easily. This is the first time that I had left you for this long. I was amused by what I had did as well. I scold you, I shout at you. I had become hot tempered and unreasonable. You are not the one to blame. I did all these on purpose. I said I like it when you rely on me, I said that you are my oxygen and I can never live without it. I remember every single words I said to you before. But do you expect me to stay on even when it's hurting me so badly?

You are not irritating. I know I am at fault. I made this decision of not contacting you is because I want you to learn to be independent. I want you to learn to socialise with others. Your world used to be only me. But now that I had left, you need to adapt to it. I don't know if I would ever go back to you again. I don't know if I would ever erase all the scars you had once given to me. But I just want to let you know, you are indeed someone special to me. The one and only. Whatever I says here are true.

Deep down my heart, it still has you.

You might not know how much I used to love you, how much I used to need you. Its okay. You don't have to know and understand because somethings in life are just meant not to be understood. If one day, we ever have the chance to be together again, I will tell you the reason behind everything that I did today.